Old books

oh, there is something about old books
they not only hold the story that was long ago
written and printed in the pages, but they hold
the story of the book itself. A book that is way
older than you are and has lived through so much
has seen the times change, even the words we use have
changed. but there it sits. a beautiful history
sitting elegantly on the shelf of my bedroom. if it
could speak what stories would it tell
of the many readers its pages have entrance.
i want to added to that list of readers, that span
the years and generations. so i open the book, and
smell the years on the pages. to swim in a story
written a hundred or more years before me.

when life seems like it's falling apart it might
just be falling into place. this quote has been
on my best friends refrigerator for the past year.
i would look at it and kinda understand it but shrug
it off at the same time. I think that now i can fully
understand the meaning it holds. when the earthquake
struck Haiti and my poor little sister was there it truly
felt like the world was falling apart. but things happened
and slowly step by step my life fell into place. hope
and failer of her coming home was the cruel game
we had been playing for a long time. and when that
devastation hit i felt like i couldn't breath.
but slowly things happened miracles happened
and now i feel like life has fallen into place.
my little sister is home and i can hug her and love her.
all the fear that i held for so long in my heart for
her can take a deep sighing breath and rest! trials
are a chance for miracles. i truly believe that!
if anything ever was
a mighty miracle it's having that little girl home

remeber hait

it's been one month since the earthquake in haiti.
it seems like it has been a lifetime. i can't even
fathome what has happened in the past one month period.
it's been the most pain and also i have seen so many
miracles happen. my life has forever been changed.
i now have a little sister
after four years of waiting, but i also went through the
worst few days of my life. not knowing, not knowing if she
was alright or even alive in that disastrous country. then
the hopes and disappointments of thinking we would get her
home and then not. so when it came it was all too much to
believe. each night praying for my little sister but never
knowing, almost doubting. and now she is in my family, in my
arms. the people of Haiti are so strong. even before the earth
brought the world tumbling down on them they had it bad. they
always had lived life in it's hardest. these are people who
would make mud pies to fill their stomachs so they didn't
scream with hunger. they now have looked death in the eyes,
and survived. they have seen many of their closest family and
friends die cruel deaths and they continue to live, i don't
know how you could be that strong! all i know is that we can
not forget Haiti. after a month it seems to fade from the top
of our lists and we forget it to move on to more pleasant issues.
we can't let that happen. pray for them, love them and help them
in anyway you possibly can. i have seen what a few people can do
and it amazes me. the miracles that can happen with some help from
heaven. so as Haiti is trying to heal help them, at least don't
forget them !

she stood in a water of uncertainty.
she not only couldn't figure things out in her life
but things were also still unclear in her mind
and everytime she tried to play the process and figure it all out
she just got more confused
how do you not know what your feeling
but that was exactly how she was feeling
things made sense in her heart but as soon as she tried
to think about them it was just unsensible and a jumbled mess

wow i feel like a new person, in the span of one month so much has happened.

haiti earthquake

as i saw the world crash down upon those i loved i wanted to reach out, to help.
but i cannot reach through the television, and i can't fly there.
so i sat on the couch, helpless. with heavy tears in my eyes, streaming down to my broken heart. the country i had so long ago given my heart to, the country of my sisters. helplessly i fell to my knees. i was human, just one girl i couldn't do anything. but i did know who could so i fell to my knees. and as tears mixed with prayer i plead to save my sister. to keep her safe and bring her home to me. i prayed harder and more than ever before. and through the death and destruction i knew she would be alright. my father in heaven was holding her in his arms. he knew her, he loved her. and he loved me.

the next day was probably the hardest day of my entire life, the uncertainty, the plain not knowing. you know the phrase what you don't know can't hurt you, well i would beg a differ. the empty void of unknowns. i prayed all day. and i cried all day. i sat in class, the teachers talking away. i didn't take notes, i wasn't even listening. my saddened eyes occasionally leaking a tear before i would quickly wipe it away. the day passed excruciatingly slow, each second a heartbeat. without the help of dear friends i would have lost it. i got home and ate. i ate whatever i could find and then went to sleep. i guess that is how i can cope with things. sad, yes, but necessary for survival. i napped for about two and a half hours. waking up to go to my uncles birthday dinner. surrounded by my cousins and aunt, uncles and family i felt slightly better. they were all worried about their niece, granddaughter, cousin and they were all praying. my little sister told my other sister that things would be ok. because my little Haitian sister is brave! she said it like she knew for sure. and i guess she did. that little tefe had been through more than i will probably ever be asked to go through. and then on the day of her eighth birthday a quake, one that shook her entire world. i can only imagine the fears of over two hundred little orphans all terrified. my sister one of them. she shouldn't have to go through that but she did. she should have been home with us, but she wasn't.

if the news could have hit any harder it would not have been news it would have been a rock and it would have bruised him and broken his bones. maybe better it was a rock because words could sting ten times more. brusies healded and you forgot where they were but words were not so kind. if only life were a package of m&m's where you could sort our red from orange and yellow and blue and only eat the ones that you truly favoried.